Don't you hate when the woman you love Says those words that fill you with pain "I've got a headache, not tonight dear" But every night it's the same! What can you do, to win her heart back? Before you get limp and old? Listen close, to get her in the mood You've got to let her take control She said "why don't we experiment I've wanted to do this since we first met" She pushed me down face-first to the bed But I wasn't prepared for what happened next She tied me down and whispered in my ear "How d'you feel about an 8 inch silicone spear?" But before the words even reached my brain My world collapsed into fiery pain Now I've nowhere to run, and no way to hide She stuck her strap-on deep into my backside And I'm drowning in butt sweat and tears And she wouldn't even lubricate my rear Two weeks later and I'm falling apart Spend my life on the toilet 'cause I can't trust a fart My friends they just don't understand what it's like To have their cheeks parted by a vibrating spike Fast forward four months and she still likes to smash Frequent trips to the doctor for a suspicious rash Blowing dudes in alleyways to get me some cash For a plastic surgeon to stitch up my gash But then one night when I'm doing my thing One of the guys wants to try out my ring His buddies surround me and pin me to the floor As one by one they abuse my back door Now I've nowhere to run, and no way to hide They stuck their flesh poles deep into my backside They wouldn't stop no matter how much I cried And I'm drowning in butt sweat and tears And from that fateful day my life will never be the same Blinded by enlightenment through the pain It's not just a vice, it's a way of life Once you overcome the posterior strife Dig deep, thrust deeper and relax Keep pushing till you reach climax Never before has my butt been so sore But in spite of myself, I'm crying for more And I'm drowning in butt sweat and [Drowning in butt sweat] Drowning in butt sweat and tears

I'm happy You’re happy Let's have an orgie You think it's silly I know it's silly But let's have an orgie If you don't ask you don't get I'm gonna ask until I get I like you You like me Let's have sex You back away I creep on up Let's have sex I'm not gonna stop till I get what I want Is it really so hard for you? You're offended I understand - just kidding Let's have a feel love You say no But I say yes Let's 'av a feel love Got a feeling this is going nowhere Not gonna call it quits yet though Ok love I'm sorry I'll stop it now If we kiss Ok fine I'll go It's your loss Just one kiss? I'm upset You're angry A hug perhaps? No? Still nothing? Ok, what's your name?

She doesn't want to see no smile, She doesn't want to see my face. All she ever talks or thinks about Is what she wants dangling in her face. I just want to be the lover of her life But when I ask her what she wants, All she saaaaaaaays iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis….. I want to see your genitals I want them in HD So take a little picture please And send it straight to me Oh why do I find it so HARD to do the right thang Yet in spite of it all I send a pic of my wang She just wants to see my dick She just wants to judge my prick She just wants to take my pic She just wants something to lick She just wants to spot my tip She just wants to view my stick She just wants something phallic She just wants to give it a spit and shine Oh why do I find it so HARD to do the right thang Yet in spite of it all I sent a pic of my wang She didn’t want to see no smile, She didn't want to see my face. All she ever talked or thought about Is what she wanted dangling in her face. I just wanted to be the lover of her life But when I sent her what she wanted, All she said is I wanted to see genitals I wanted them in HD But your nuts are fucking terrible I think you’ve got a disease

All you needs a quarter cup Of special seasoned lube A couple handfuls of rubber bands And a teaspoon of salt, too Put all these things together and you Know that forever you’ll always have my heart But be careful while you're down there Unless you wanna eat a fart To Toss someones salad is to explore the anal cavity whatever your fancy, clean or dirty and gyrate your tongue in a circular licking motion, in and around the anus, rimming with such affection So whatever you do Try to avoid the poo And i’ll give to you A very special felacio You're gonna go downtown, to browntown And fall down in my comedown with my cum down your chin You’re licking, and poking and joking My longing for bonking is filling me to the brim And well, love if you're down there already There’s something you can do on your own As long as your co-ordinated and steady Have you heard of a rusty trombone? To get a rusty trombone is to receive a licking Maybe if you fancy, a flicking Of the tongue and have your fleshy sword rubbed Such pleasures, being tugged and plugged. So whatever you do Try to avoid the poo And i’ll give to you A very special felacio With your hands all over and your tongue inside of me I can't control, I can't stop I have to… Release!

When the women you see never seem to be The kind of woman that you’d like to bone You’re searching for that perfect one And you’re gonna take her home And down in a dodgy bar one night You turn and raise your head There she is, the special one And you’re gonna take her to bed 5 beers and 4 shots later The alcohol’s making its move You say to her “come on girl, It’s time to get a room” But when you get back to your house You sense that something’s not quite right. She has a strange lump in her dress Between the legs the fabric’s tight. It’s getting bigger by the minute D’you really want to know what’s in it? She slips out of her dress and then you see It’s a trap! There’s too much makeup and she’s wearing a wig It’s a trap! She stuffed her bra with socks to make them look big It’s a trap! She’s got a penis and it’s not even feminine, It’s pointing right at me and looking quite threatening How the hell did I get into this mishaaaaaaaaaaaap? It’s A Trap! I'm thinking to myself Well...I got this far It wouldn't make sense to back out Now, would it? So I decide to soldier on And help to remove ‘her' thong But it's looking me straight in the eye Soaked with the silvery tears it did cry It’s getting bigger by the second Looking thicker than I’d reckoned Really not sure that I’ll fit it in It’s a trap! There’s too much makeup and she’s wearing a wig It’s a trap! She stuffed her bra with socks to make them look big It’s a trap! She’s got a penis and it’s not even feminine, It’s pointing right at me and looking quite threatening How the hell did I get into this mishaaaaaaaaaaaap? It’s a trap! It’s a trap! She’s got me on all fours and expertly pinned It’s a trap! She spat on my behind to ease herself in It’s a trap! I think I like it but I don’t want to tell her Right now I don’t care that it’s really a feller How the hell did I get into this mishap? It’s a Trap! Now I kinda got a catch 22 I just got pounded by a dude He looked so sexy as a chick I sorta forgot about his dick I know you’ll say it makes me gay But this is what I’ve got to say... Traps are in a different class It’s fine to do things to their ass As long as the balls don’t touch It can’t possibly be gay, ….. At least not much

These days if you’re an artist like Van Gogh You’ll find it doesn’t earn you very much dough So if you want some proper inspiration Go visit a contemporary installation You can feed your artistic fascination On piles of junk and other creations I took a trip down to Paris today To see what’s in the Louvre gallery The critics say that it will truly move you And now I’m starting to see that it’s true As I gaze upon the wondrous art I feel the rumblings of a fart And as I let it go I’m hit with doubt I think that something else came out But it’s okay, it’s all fine ‘Cause I’m a modern artist in his prime And I love to work with fresh materials So... I... Squeeze out the raw sienna I push out the sapgreen hue I wring out some burnt umber And some yellow ochre too Who needs a canvas when the world is your stage? Or a brush when finger-painting’s the rage? With expert strokes and dabs and swirls On the floor my masterpiece unfurls While I’ve been caught up in creativity Someone went and called the security Luckily for me the stench is far too great And all they can do is stand back and wait And that’s okay, I don’t mind It’s expressionism and you’ll find I’ve got another set of paints left to go So... I... Force out the warm sepia I push out the Vandyke brown I press out some Italian earth But I’m left here with a frown I try to get another shade To match the tone that’s in my head But I think I’ve strained myself too much And what comes out is Indian red As I pass out from the stress and loss of blood The guards swoop in but slip up on the flood My work is finally complete As the smears left by their feet Add the final touch to my portrait of Your Mother

What would you do If you had to write a song? Make it relevant and catchy Enough for people to sing along? What would you do If you had to make a film? Make it number one and hot Enough to call it ‘brill’? What would you do If you had to script a play? Make it creative and snappy Enough for it to stay Relevant? You know all about that don't you? Staying relevant… Well we all know you sold your soul to get where you are, hell bent On keeping yourself popular Oh you won't get far Unless you do the same as everyone When you’re losing your popularity And it's impossible to escape There's only one thing left for you to do Release a sex tape All you fake fucking pathetic celebrities You know who I'm talking to Desperately clinging onto your ideology My finger’s pointing right at you Talking about who sucked who's penis last night Take your dignity out and burn it down Stop pretending it's ok when it's clearly not right You’re just a bunch of fucking clowns -Short break- Hey Justin, hey Miley, hey Nicki Have you got a new single for us? Why did they write a song for you this time And it's you, not them, who's famous? Talking about who tossed who's salad last night Throw your dignity down and burn it up Posting selfies all day with your bits hanging out Could you be anymore corrupt? And guys, you know, I don't care who you blow Be it Asian, white, black or blue But honestly and frankly we don't need to know And there's only one shining truth Every one of you are just as bad As people like Hitler or Mao If only there was some possible way To rid you from the face of the earth Hey you, Kim Kartrashian Show me your ass a thousandth time? It's not just you, your fans are just as bad How can you sleep with yourself at night? You have to break free from this conditioning That keeps you glued to your tv Stop watching all this made up reality Turn it off, turn them out, be free

When you turn the pages of history Glimpse through the chapters of mythology There's a secret hidden so deep That you can never see Like the Mongol raiders of Genghis Khan Conquering the world from here to Kazakhstan Or the great man himself Alexander the Great Taking over a world filled with hate Graham bell, Ivan the terrible All those crazy guys from the bible Newton, Beethoven, Jackson and Poe This is the tale of what you don't know Incredulous, contagious, incestuous, dangerious When your sister is your mistress And your mistress is your misses And your misses is your mum And your mum is your bride Is it no shock what you've done? Committing genetic suicide? Like the royals of any country ‘’Keeping it in the family’’ You'll be surprised to know All the politicians are chromosomally low From the current presidents and prime ministers Passing legislation about things quite sinister To the kings and queens who've been around for ages Thinking ahead of ways to marry their babies Thatcher, Jong un, Castro and co Around 80% of the pharaohs Albert Einstein, Atilla the Hun All gathered round for some harmless fun Incredulous, contagious, incestuous, dangerious When your brother is your lover And your lover is your cousin And your cousin is your uncle And your uncle is your dad Is it no shock what you've done? Committing genetic suicide? Like the ones in charge of whom You’re not supposed to know All the people in power are chromosomally low When you get so comfortable in life And start making your sisters into your brides Kings, queens, husbands and wives You have all been, incestutionalised

My darling Rosebud Oh so shy You always hide your face My sweetest Rosebud Let the world See your inner beauty Let it all out Everyone will see what you mean to me When you let it all out My pretty Rosebud I'm in love When I see your pretty colors Blushing pink cheeks Lips so red and glossy I can’t wait to kiss Rose red lips puckered out My only Rosebud I need you But it hurts to see your face Oh baby Rosebud Please don’t go I'm waiting for the doctor My darling Rosebud You’re insane One man's pleasure is another man's Anal pain